Many of the clients I work struggle with overwhelming self-doubt. This self-doubt is pervasive in and it limits a person’s ability to engage fully with the world. Even worse, It is often accompanied by harsh self-judgment that serves to diminish self-esteem. A poor choice becomes just another reason to not trust oneself rather than an opportunity to learn and grow. 
This is a vicious cycle – a single suboptimal outcome becomes an instance of self-doubt. If unchallenged, this self doubt erodes confidence and leads to difficulty in making effective decisions. The spiral continues. Over time, you begin to think that you cannot trust your instincts and your inner wisdom.
The good news is that you can learn skills to increase resilience and reestablish your trust in yourself. With careful, mindful attention, you can transform moments of uncertainty into opportunities to become more familiar with your inner process and to learn from both the successes and the stumbles.
Some tips for overcoming self-doubt:
- Recall your values. Getting clear on what you believe and how you want to live your life is a huge benefit in trusting yourself. Even when acting according to your values, you will still make mistakes. However, you will know that you acted in good conscience and this fact will allow you to be more open to learning from the experience.
- Start keeping a log or a journal of your successes. By having a pre-made list of your accomplishments, you will have instant data to remind yourself of what you can do.
- Spend some time each day in quiet contemplation. Although many people resist the idea of meditation, it is a great way to become familiar with the inner workings of your mind. As you sit with a focus on your breath, you will notice where your mind returns over and over again. As you see these habits of mind in a calm situation, you will begin to learn to recognize when those same habits emerge in action.
- Keep things in perspective. One consequence of active self-doubt is that it magnifies the urgency of the issue in your mind. Take a deep breath and reflect upon the realistic importance of what is happening. It will ease the pressure if you acknowledge that the situation may not be as weighty as your doubts are suggesting.
- Avoid comparison. If you feel that finger of doubt creeping in, it can be tempting to look at others and imagine that their lives or easier or that they always stand strong in their opinions and choices. Maybe they do and maybe they don’t but it definitely will not serve your well-being to engage in the comparison. Quietly thank your mind for seeking feedback and return to your own experience. You are the one and only expert in your own life and you are the only one who gets to live it.
Self-doubt frequently emerges slowly and reversing its effects will take time too. Every time you take an action that is more kind and compassionate toward yourself, it is a step that also builds your ability to overcome self-doubt. Each step is a step towards living with resilience and surety that you can overcome any challenges that lie ahead.
